A cute, fluffy white hare once lived on Oki Island, in Inaba Province. He very much wanted to get to mainland Inaba, but the sea was filled with wani (和邇). Literary historians enjoy arguing whether wani should be read “shark,” “crocodile,” “dragon,” or “sea monster,” so I’ll annoy all of them and call them crocosharks.
The adorable white hare was afraid he’d get eaten if he swam across, so he decided to trick the crocosharks. He slyly bragged to a passing crocoshark that his family was bigger than the crocoshark’s. The proud creature took immediate offense and disagreed, to which the cunning bunny replied, “Why don’t you line up your family here between Oki Island and the mainland and let me see?”
Within minutes, the waters were filled with crocosharks all lined up from one shore to the other. The wily white hare oohed and aahed and said “There are so many of you! Let me walk across your backs, so I can count you properly.” The crocosharks were the type to think that a Nigerian Prince had left them a billion Yen and that hot, horny singles were in their area, and so they readily agreed to let the hare hop across their backs.
As soon as he reached the shore of Inaba, the adorable bunny turned into an abominable bully: he taunted the crocosharks like a Bond villain, explaining his exploitative scheme. Unfortunately, although the bunny was wily, he was also bad at judging distances, because the last crocoshark managed to reach out and grab him by the tail and drag him into a whirlpool of angry teeth.
The evidently vegetarian crocosharks then tore all the fur off the white bunny before tossing him back on the beach.
While the formerly white bunbun tried to hide his newly nude buns in the tall grass, he saw the strangest sight: a large group of gods marching along the beach, more than you could count. They were all brothers, on their way to woo Yagamihime (八上比売), the princess of Inaba. When they saw the miserable bunny, they decided to prank him. “Do you want your fur to grow back, little hare? Then all you need to do is bathe in the sea and dry off in the wind!” they said.
The white hare was as gullible as the crocosharks, and immediately jumped in the sea, where the salt stung his sensitive skin. Not only that, when he crawled out and stood on the beach, the wind blew sand into his freshly salted wounds. The brothers laughed at the hare’s plight and moved on.
A short while later, another god arrived, carrying a huge basket. His name was Ōkuninushi (大国主), and he was the youngest of the brothers. He had no intention of wooing the princess, but was forced to come on the trip to carry everybody else’s luggage. Unlike his older brothers, Ōkuninushi was a kind god, and he took pity on the poor hare, asking him what had happened.
When the hare admitted the full story to him, Ōkuninushi pointed out that the hare got his punishment for deceiving the crocosharks, and then told him to bathe in the river and roll around in cattails. After he followed Ōkuninushi’s advice, the hare found to his surprise that his wounds had stopped hurting, and that his fur started growing back immediately.
Being an adorable, fluffy white bunbun again, he thanked Ōkuninushi profusely and turned into a clairvoyant dating coach. He prophesied that Yagamihime would not marry any of the mean older brothers and would instead swipe right on the kindhearted Ōkuninushi.
Ōkuninushi and Yagamihime did indeed get married, and the older brothers gracefully accepted Yagamihime’s decision. (Just kidding, they totally tried to kill Ōkuninushi, but that’s a story for another time.)
References
Chamberlain, Basil Hall (transl.). The Kojiki. https://sacred-texts.com/shi/kj/kj028.htm
Ozaki, Yei Theodora. Japanese Folktales: Classic Stories from Japan’s Enchanted Past. Tuttle, 2018 (1970), pp. 190–197.