The Wife You Do Not Want to Mess With

It’s no secret that historical Japan was not an egalitarian society, especially when it came to gender relations. And yet, there are instances of women doing some very remarkable things despite the societal restrictions on them, finding ways of expressing themselves in creative ways…and then some of them just straight up kicked some ass, as in this story.

Back in the Heian Period people would go to the Fushimi Inari Shrine early in the year to pay their respects to the god there, much like people do now. One year, a group of toneri (lower level aristocrats who did all sorts of jobs) got together to go to this shrine. Specifically, this group outing was an excuse to get the boys together and go have some fun. No girls allowed though. Among these bros was a man named Matta no Shigekata who was known for being extremely promiscuous and flirtatious, much to the chagrin of his actual wife.

Now all these boys got together for some snacks and drinks, and went about the shrine grounds enjoying some free time among a bunch of other nobles all dressed in their New Year’s finest, coming and going as they saw fit. It was at this time that Shigekata and his bros spied one woman in particular, wearing a gorgeous set of robes in dazzling crimson and yellow, moving toward them. Before any of the men could get a good look at her though, she stepped aside and hid herself behind some low hanging branches of a tree as it was considered improper for a lady to be seen by unrelated men.

That didn’t stop the boys from essentially catcalling her, and bending down to try to get a peek at her as they walked by, but most of them weren’t actually concerned with anything more than just having a look and being generally obnoxious. That is, except Shigekata who, true to form, decided he wanted to see if he could actually get more than just a peek. So he stopped and began saying sweet nothings to this unknown woman.

To his surprise, she returned his flirting, but commented how it was amusing that a married man would hit on her this way. Shigekata continued his flirting saying that his wife “had a face like a monkey” and treated him with mercenary coldness, and explained that he wanted to leave her but needed someone to look after the sewing and therefore, was stuck with her until he found someone else.

The woman, clearly also an expert in flirting, asked Shigekata if he was being honest about all this, to which Shigekata swore by the god of the Inari Shrine that he was telling the truth and then asked if the lady was single. She replied that her husband had died three years ago and that she had been coming to this shrine to pray to find a trustworthy man, someone she could rely on and maybe, just maybe, she could tell Shigekata where she lived. But, oh no, she couldn’t, they were just passing by and she couldn’t possibly be so improper or forward.

Now if any of you know how Heian Period flirting worked, this was basically her saying she was super into him and he just needed to push a little more. So Shigekata dialed it up to 11. He slapped his hands together, bowed his head so low that the tail of his eboshi hat was level with the woman’s chest and swore that he would never return to his own home if this woman agreed to take him to hers.”

It was then that Shigekata suddenly felt someone forcefully reach under his eboshi hat, grab his tied up hair and then, and I quote, “slap his cheek so hard it reverberated through the whole mountain.” Shigekata fell to the dirt, with the woman still holding his hair (which, having your headwear out of place in public was considered extremely embarrassing) and looked up to see his wife’s face glaring at him.

Shigekata asked in exasperated unbelief if his wife had gone crazy, only for her to verbally lay into him with no mercy, explaining how his friends had kept coming around telling her that Shigekata was always behaving indecently with other women. She didn’t want to believe it, and told herself that they were just trying to get a rise out of her, but lo and behold, they were exactly right. She called on Shigekata’s oath to the god of Fushimi Inari that he just made a moment ago, and said she hoped he would be cursed and she wanted everyone around them to see her knock off his hat and slap him silly.

It was around this time that Shigekata’s friends realized he wasn’t with them, and a bit after turning back to look for him, they arrived at the scene just in time to see the slap heard through the mountains. Their response though, was not indignation for their friend. No, they all agreed that Shigekata had it coming and his wife was in the right. They had told him over and over again but the unfaithful idiot refused to listen and some of them even cheered his wife on.

Hearing his friends’ praise, Shigekata’s wife told him that it served him right and let go of his hair. Shigekata then picked himself up, fixed his headwear and, with what little dignity he had left, strode over to rendezvous with his friends. As he went his wife gave him one final warning,

“Go find some other frivolous woman to waste your time with. If you come back to my place I’ll break your ******* legs.”

Literally, she says that she’ll break his legs. Having delivered her ultimatum, she then left.

Now Shigekata eventually did go back to her house and tried to win her over, but she had none of it and only called him “stupid” in a few different ways before sending him away. When word of this made it out to the public, everyone was in agreement that it was Shigekata who had behaved himself unbecomingly and was faced with severe ridicule.

So, the moral of the story is that, while Heian Japan wasn’t exactly an equal society, men couldn’t just get away with anything they wanted. There were things that they could do that would earn them the disapproval of society that no amount of genuine male privilege could save them from. Also, while what Shigekata’s wife did probably wasn’t considered very lady-like behavior, it goes to show that there were strong women in that society who were not afraid to throw down when the situation called for it. Gotta love the Heian Period.

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