đ¨ When Did Penis Size Start to Matter in Japan?
đ¨ Some of these images are explicit, so be warned.
Itâs a hard question, but letâs rise to the occasion and answer it. One look at my spam folder overflowing with penis enlargement pill emails is proof that in the modern day, having a big olâ katana in your pants is generally seen as a good thing.
This preference for long dongs seems to be, at least partially, a cultural thing, rather than something true for all societies. I promise, this is not just me trying to mount a defense of my own Asian eggplant.
Famously, the Greeks saw large dicks as barbaric. Small, dainty dicks were ideal. Although in erotic art and art of fertility gods, penises were massive, so maybe they preached the tiny prick gospel in the streets, but sang the symphony of sizable shafts in the sheets.
In any case, if we look at the art and literature of Japan throughout most of its history, having a large manhood was not really something people desired. Itâs hard to find any references to large dicks before the Edo period (1603 - 1168).
But by God I found some for you. Youâre welcome.
Penis Enlargement Medication
An old medical text from 984 called IshinpĹ éŤĺżćš has instructions on how to actually make penis enlargement medication. Apparently, this wasnât just a one-millimeter miracle, it could add an impressive 1.2 in (3 cm) to your size. Didnât know those email advertisers had such a long history, did you?
Now before you picture Japanese men swinging their newfound noodles like nunchaku in the bedroomâŚthe reason stated for this medication was not to improve the patientâs sexual prowess, it was to allow him to perform sexual activities necessary for his health. Iâm guessing it was for men with micropenises, to allow them to have sex in the first place. Sex was considered necessary for health.
Huge Phallus, Ugly Wife
Another big dick reference was in Shin sarugaku ki ć°çżćĽ˝č¨, a fictional work from the Heian period (794 - 1185). In it, the husband of this woman is a dumb and greedy person, but he does have one unique trait: a huge phallusâŚ
His phallus is said to be as thick as a beam and curved like a rainbow. The glans is huge as if wearing a woven hat. Its length is eight sun (about 9.5 in, or 24 cm), and the width is about four fingers worth. The veins look like a crawling spider. It is as strong as a tree stump, and as hard as an iron hammer. It wakes up in the night and relaxes at dawn. Therefore, there were no women who dared to marry him.
The only woman who can take his enormous anatomy is his current wife, who is really ugly. The story says they are a great match.
Despite him having a monstrous redwood, the story does not make it sound like something good. It was just a funny thing about him.
A Weird Couple
A Heian poem called Tettsui den éć§äź from the Heian period (which means âChronicle of Iron Hammerâ) describes an above average phallus, and itâs ridiculous and hilarious. His name is Tettsui. Yes, the penis.
Tettsui, the dick, sleeps with high status ladies and beautiful young women due to his decent size. The poem says he has the length of seven sun (about 8.5 in, or 21 cm), as wide as a wolfâs mouth, and his head is pointed like a mackerelâs.
He gets married to this cute young vagina and they live happily ever until they grow old together. Unfortunately, in his old age, Tettsuiâs once-proud head, always raised before, bows to gravity. He gets all sad and flaccid. His wife cries whenever she sees him. Eventually, the old couple decide to abandon their empty sexual lives and become more enlightened.
In Tettsuiâs case, having a decently sized penis was beneficial, giving him access to many women (or maybe it was his impressively mackerel-looking head). This suggests there was at least some notion that size was important, but the fact that large-dick references were so tells us it probably wasnât a widespread idea.
Phallic Contests
There is one special work of art that definitely has huge penises. Itâs a handscroll people call Kachi-e (ĺçľľ). Kachi-e is a type of art that includes drawings of phallic contests and fart battles. Iâm not kidding.
The oldest surviving kachi-e handscroll currently sits in the Mitsui Memorial Museum. We can poot aside the fart battle for now (thatâs a whole other topic), but the scroll depicts a contest where several men proudly parade their python-esque privates. These men knew how to grow and care for their manhoods.
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The scroll we have is most likely a copy made in the Muromachi period (1336 - 1573) or before. The original was probably painted in the late 1100s, alongside a bottle of sake.
You might be tempted to conclude that this scroll proves people did value large dicks, but there is no strong evidence of that. The tone of the drawings is super silly and there were no women there for the men to show off to. They were just having fun comparing pricks, nothing sexual about it. Youâll see what actual erotic drawings are in the Edo period (1603 - 1868).
To conclude that people valued large dicks because they drew a phallic contest would be like concluding that people valued strong farts because they drew a fart battle. No, this scroll was probably just a silly thing drawn for fun, not evidence that men wished for larger penises.
But even so, the kachi-e scroll might have planted seeds for later erotic art.
Edo Sexual Revolution
Other than the above, there were not many mentions of huge penises in art and literature. But people seemed to really like phallic contests, because they kept making copies of the kachi-e scroll.
Fast forward to the Edo period, when Japan dropped all modesty like Goku dropping his training weights. The country hitched up its kimono and really let loose with sex and erotica. Phallic contest drawings started becoming more indecent. It was at this time that the idea of being proud of a large prick became clear.
In one Edo scroll, a man stands triumphant with his weapon of mass seduction, scaring away all the small dicks. Next to him, a tiny-dicked man covers his face in shame.
This is different from the Heian handscroll, where even though they are competing, itâs all in good fun. We canât see anyone being so proud that heâs bigger than the others, rubbing his balls in their faces.
Another scroll shows mega-dicked men in a phallic contest while court noblewomen sneak glances from the side.
It escalates into a grand orgy.
And there were a million other artworks and erotica about large dicks. Itâs clear that by the Edo period, size mattered.
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